Building an Empire (GTA V): The Legend of the Dead Leprechauns Begins


Let the games begin!  At least the Grand Theft Auto Online gaming.  The purpose of this weekly column will be to follow the misadventures of a new toon I’m creating specifically for Elite Monster.

Natalie is a red-haired hellion with a penchant for shooting first and asking questions fourth or fifth.  The overall goal is to start from scratch and give a play by play account of what it’s like to jump in game while simultaneously trying to build a mega-empire.  I’ll start each segment off with a story told through Natalie’s eyes and then break it down into how it actually plays from behind the controller.  So without further ado, I’ll hand it off to our girl.

Landing in Los Santos

The flight was long and made worse by the crying brat kicking the seat behind me.  Still, I made it in one piece, and that was never a sure thing after my layover in Liberty City.  Any landing you walk away from, as they say.   My first impression is that Los Santos is hot; a hell of a lot hotter than Ireland was in any case.

My contact, Lamar from Life Invader, meets me out front.  He’s been promising me the chance to make fat stacks of paper and that’s good.  Green really is my favorite color.  My first chance to make some is a car race that Lamar is setting up.  I’ve always been better at shooting someone than driving over them, but what the hell, I’ll give it a go.  They give me a beater car that I wouldn’t waste time strapping a bomb to, but it runs well enough.

It’s a late night lap through Vinewood and another bloke named Joe joins in.  A group of old Asian guys set up the race, dole out some checkpoints for us to hit along the way and then drop a hell of a lot of cash on the betting.  I know I won’t see a drop of what they’re throwing out there and a small part of me wants to gun them down right now and just run off with what I can carry, but bloody hell, that’s what got me in trouble in the first place.

The car hums as I punch the gas and I top out at what must be a fast jog.  Lamar is on speakerphone, talking trash, but he shuts up after I lose him in my rear view.  That guy Joe must have stopped off for a pint because I never see him again.  After I sail past the finish line the promoters give me $2500 and then vanish.  Lamar shows up, trying to ignore the fact that he just got smoked and drops an address into my hand.  One of his contacts has a job for me: a snatch and grab involving drugs.  I tell Lamar it’s not a problem.  I don’t care what it is as long as it leads to a pot of gold.

The address leads me to a highway underpass.  I get out, 9mm in hand and smile at the dirt bag who steps out to eye grope me.  He starts to say something about my ass when I put a bullet between his eyes.  I put down four of his friends in slightly more dramatic fashion before I see the gang’s kingpin running off with the goods.  So I jack another car, ignoring the cries of the over-privileged Vinewood brat, and run the leader down.

I’m back outside the airport as I run his car into a guardrail and bring it to a metal wrenching halt.  The dealer sits behind the wheel, grabbing his bleeding head as I waltz up to the window and level my gun.  Before he can turn his head my way I put a bullet in it.  I always hate the way their eyes look when the lights go out.  That sort of stuff keeps you up at night.  I hear someone screaming in the distance and grab the drugs before the cops show up.  After that it’s back to Lamar who’s introducing me to G, a man of few words, which is fine by me.  Let the money do the talking, me Da used to say.

Overall, not a bad first day.  I got some money, a gun and a car.  Tomorrow I start recruiting Dead Leprechauns.  That pig, Seamus, will never know what hit him.  You never betray the family…and bloody hell; it might be fun to be Queen of this world.

Legend of the Dead Leprechauns

So the first hour or so of the GTAO experience is mainly tutorial.  You get an overview of the city, are given your first weapon and car, and are introduced to races and missions.

The load time of the race went a lot faster than it did when I started my first toon, so I was pleased about that, and yes, another player was racing as well, but it’s a fairly easy event to win so it didn’t pose much of an issue.  The drug theft is also pretty easy and can be accomplished solo with very little problem.  After all is said and done you end up with 5k in starting money.  Enough to go and get some new clothes and a nightstick or ammo for your pistol.  A shotgun is also available to Social Club members.

So here starts the legend of the Dead Leprechauns.  If you’re a 360 player, you’re welcome to join up through the Rockstar Social Club website or if you catch me in-game under gamer tag: Nebcron.

Good hunting out there.

About Drew Tierney